WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF DOING?

Hey there,

Yesterday, I was listening to a successful, intelligent, normal (by most accounts) and very funny woman. I was watching from a distance as I overheard her rehearsing a lecture she was preparing for an upcoming audience that, I assumed, had shattered pasts and circumstances.

My assumption was based on words she used like, heartache, damage, struggle, and pain in the content of her speech. Certainly, words like struggle, loneliness, and damage would not be addressed to an audience of well-balanced, content, motivated listeners! Yes, I figured she had to be preparing for a presentation to some hurting group that needed encouragement in the midst of their pain.

I moved closer. She continued rehearsing the words from her pages then lowered her stack of papers as she tried to memorize each phrase. At first, she strained to regurgitate each phrase, word for word. As I continued to peak at the distant reflection in the mirror, I noticed a metamorphosis was beginning to happen in her. She threw her carefully stacked papers on the floor and said, “What am I trying to say?”

Suddenly, she put her face to the mirror and said, “What are you afraid of?” I immediately looked around to see if people were in the room that I had failed to notice. Surely, that woman was talking to somebody who was not there!

She began to speak as though talking to a singled-out person. She said, “Daily, you wake up and wonder what the day will hold. You desire so much for your life, yet have well learned that it is best to settle for the controllable instead of hope for the unobtainable. You go to a job you endure and only allow yourself fragments of time to fantasize about what your life could have been had you chosen a different route. After a routine day, you briefly live through less controlled lives on television. Perhaps, on a beautiful Sunday morning you allow yourself a tender moment of realizing the great love for you during service. However, you quickly realize you need to keep your “content, “I’m just blessed” game face on instead of risking your true feelings of doubt, confusion, fear, rejection, shame, and loneliness to others. Perhaps, daily you push toward the unknown. You are so excited with anticipation of the possibilities, yet believe an obstacle has been met when you have a doubt, recall past failures and hurt, see your shortcomings, or face the realization that you don’t have it all together. The unknown is frightening and big.”

As she continued, I watched her hands flaring in the air and heard the pitch of her voice go up as she stressed a certain point in her presentation that seemed to be personal to her. I quickly began to realize that her lecture was not for an audience of needy people, but an audience of everyday people who walk through life “in the now” instead of the “will be”. I continued to listen to that woman until she finished a presentation that no longer was rehearsed, but from her heart. She closed by saying, “Obstacles are not a seen or a warning wall that prevents us from moving forward. Obstacles are those challenges, damages, beliefs, and choices that we are afraid of other’s seeing that we place in our life to keep us from moving forward. Fear, the past, nor our present, can ever be an obstacle.”

As I pulled myself away from the mirror and threw away the unneeded papers from the floor, I grabbed my coat and headed to my speaking engagement.

Because we are NOT perfect, every human being has some damaged area in his or her life. Damage is simply a hurt, habit, hang-up, or imperfection that we might use to prevent us from moving forward. If you are willing, what is one “damage” you or someone you know has used in not moving forward? Come on be brave…. You tell me yours, I’ll tell you mine.

Dream Madly, Pursue Wildly, Trust Completely!

Charlotte

WHAT WRITERS NEED TO KNOW ABOUT MARKETING Pt 1. (By Jerry D. Simmons)

Here is Part one of a wonderful marketing series that writer and expert, Jerry D. Simmons contributed to my blog readers who are writers.  I wanted to repost it for those of you who are beginning new dreams this year of writing that first book.  Part 2 and 3 will follow.  Please visit Jerry on facebook and website as well.

 

Copyright 2008

Jerry D. Simmons & WritersReaders.com

WritersReaders.com

The Insiders Guide to Publishing

eBook

WHAT WRITERS NEED TO KNOW ABOUT MARKETING

 

Three forces driving the book-selling market.

Marketing is critical to the sale of your book and can be your key to becoming a successful author. Whether you’re self-published, with a small press, or under contract with a big New York publisher, marketing to the reading public is competitive. If you don’t learn how to market and make decisions about marketing, you’re limiting your chances of being successful. Your book is the accumulation of years of hard work that’s finally being packaged and offered for sale to the consumer. It’s crucial you understand your competition and how you can improve your chances of selling copies. The most talented writers in the world won’t be successful unless the marketing for their book is focused to a specific, targeted market.

This eBook gives you an inside look into the business of big publishers and explains how they market books. With this inside look, you’ll learn the areas where you can influence the book publishing and marketing business—from publisher to bookseller to reader—to your advantage.

When you begin developing your marketing plan, you need to consider three forces driving today’s book-selling market: (1) guaranteed sales, (2) bookseller real estate, and (3) over-distribution. Despite the fact that what really determines a book’s success or failure hinges on the consumer—the reading public—these three forces guide, if not dominate, marketing strategies and outcomes within the book-publishing context.

(1) Guaranteed sales. Publishers “guarantee” the sale of their books to booksellers. In other words, publishers guarantee their customers (whether they’re a retailer, wholesaler, jobber, or distributor) that the books they buy can be returned for full credit if they don’t sell within a specified time period.

What this means to you. For authors, it’s important that their publishers sell the right number of copies to the right assortment of booksellers so these returned books are minimized (or the end sale is maximized). It may seem obvious that a “net sale” at retail is what a book needs to be successful. What’s less obvious is what that means. This net sale is called sell-through or percent of sale and represents the number of copies sold at retail compared to the number printed, shipped, or distributed to the bookseller. For example, suppose the publisher ships 10,000 copies of your book to a big retailer. The retailer sells 6,000 copies and returns 4,000. That’s a 60% sell-through, and that’s what you want. Any new title selling less than 60% over the course of a few weeks, and in some cases even a few days, will be returned to the publisher.

Booksellers want books that sell through at a minimum of 60% and so do the publishers. A higher sell-through percent means lower handling costs for booksellers and quicker inventory turnover, which both result in better and faster cash flow. Retailers can’t afford to allow books to sit on their shelves unsold. An unsold book means retailers must find other titles that will sell so they can maximize their return on investment. The less time their employees spend dealing with returns, more time is available to spend with customers (like the reading public) and re-order titles selling through at a higher percentage, which increases the retailers’ overall sales.

(2) Bookseller real estate. When you walk into any retail bookseller, you’ll notice attractive floor and table displays where books are nicely stacked with scores of various titles. None of this is random. When browsing shelves, you’ll notice that some books are placed face out and others spine out. This isn’t by chance. All of these displays are designed to catch the consumers’ eye and direct them to certain titles or categories. Welcome to book merchandising, where virtually every inch of the retailer’s store is considered real estate that it essentially rents to publishers for big bucks.

Publishers pay dearly for the right to place their titles in those floor displays, on those tabletops, and in those shelf displays. Depending on the time of year and the type of promotion in which publishers want to participate, retailers charge a premium. So the next time you visit your local book retailer, the titles you see first and in the largest displays are occupying space bought and paid for.

What this means to you. This is where and how the major publishers dominate the marketplace. They pay prices that most small publishers can’t afford, regardless of a book’s potential strength or an author’s reputation. As a self-published author, for example, you should review the sample marketing plans at the end of this book to help you determine when and whether you want to supply your local bookseller with a display.

(3) Over-distribution. The focus of all publishers and the goal of their entire marketing effort is to generate revenue by increased billing. Here’s what happens. First, publishers over-ship, which means shipping more copies into the marketplace than it can reasonably absorb and sell. Publishers do this by selling and shipping as many copies of their seasonal publication list to as many booksellers as they possibly can. Result: Too many unsold books. This creates over-distribution. It’s the model for all publishers in today’s environment.

What it means to you. If you sense that over-distribution doesn’t make business sense, don’t worry. The key is that you understand the single biggest problem with publishing today. This over-sold, over-distribution problem is prevalent throughout the industry and won’t be going away anytime soon. The guaranteed sale and bookseller real estate forces driving the publishing industry aren’t going to disappear anytime soon, either. That’s why it’s crucial for writers to understand that the publishing/bookselling market is dominated by these three driving forces.

FEATURED PROFILE: Author and Chaplain, Dave Moore

In my “many” years of living, I have come to believe in many things.  I believe everybody has a purpose and their lives are meant to hold value and impact in other’s lives regardless of their past, failures, doubts or story.  I believe that no matter how painful, long or difficult a situation is to endure, there is always something to learn and offer that will change our lives forever if we allow.  I also believe certain people have different journeys that test their character to find their strength in what they truly believe or to realize the level of growth that is needed.

One thing that I don’t believe in is coincidence.  To me, nothing happens by chance or luck.  Crossing the path of Dave Moore not only reaffirmed those things I believe in but clearly demonstrates that lives intersect, impact and influence other’s lives for a reason.

Not to anyone’s surprise who have read previous featured profiles, I crossed the path of Dave Moore and his wife, Dorinda, on Facebook.  Like so many that friend me, he was yet another writer.  While I meet people, especially writers, I am not usually drawn to someone at first meeting.  Something was different with Dave.

After the usual, hi and welcomes, he simply shared about his family and his love for his work.  He told me that he is a chaplain serving through Victorious Life Church of God in Ypsilanti, Michigan.  What struck me most was that he volunteers to pray with the sick and the lost in hospitals, nursing homes, prison, and jails. I know personally the great need of someone to simply be there in the worst of times, not to criticize or counsel, maybe not even talk, but just be there and pray.  He also wrote of the love of his life, Dorinda, and his three sons, Shane, Adam, and David.

In the midst of trying to encourage Dave, I found myself being encouraged by him, his amazing story, deep and passionate love for his family and a tenderness that seems rare these days.

I was so moved by the synopsis of his book, which is his amazing true story of anguish in going through a father’s worst nightmare—a missing child, that I approached Dave to ask if he would be willing to send me a copy.  Wow!  Much more than a story about the reuniting of a son to his father, the book sends you on a compelling ride of something Dave did not expect to find…faith.  After reading it, I knew I had to do a feature profile on Dave and his book.

In collaboration with his wife, Dorinda, Dave wrote the 106-page book over the last five years.  Allow me to tell you more  about Dave Moore and his new book, “The Father’s Love.”

BOOK SYNOPSIS:

“The drive home seemed to be endless. My mind was a battleground of extremes. Ideas of what to do next to help find David seemed to constantly flood my thinking. Yet the negative side, thinking the worst of what might have happened to my son, was always occupying my mind. Though sleep was dearly needed, it was not welcomed, for even in sleep I was tormented.”  

Confronting depression, fatigue, and evil, Dave Moore goes on a cross-country search for his missing son. Becoming increasingly desperate and having done all that is humanly possible without results, what will he do? Who will he turn to? In this amazing true story, you will experience Dave Moore’s anguish in going through a father’s worst nightmare—a missing child. Through his fear, Dave confronts his soul’s emptiness and learns the heavenly Father’s Love.

BOOK EXCERPT:

(Dave’s son, David had been home worrying about his first year of college at Eastern Michigan University. His grades were declining and the semester was almost at its end. On a snap decision to avoid letting his father down, David bought a bus ticket and ventured south, leaving a note behind:)

“Dad, this is by far the most difficult decision I have ever had to make. I’ve come to this point by my own stupidity and laziness.  I struggled this semester, by far the most I ever have throughout my schooling days. After realizing I couldn’t salvage it, I’ve decided I need to leave. Although I love you with all my heart, I can’t bear to see your reaction to my screw up. I would rather brave this tough world alone than feel like I’ve let you down or failed you. My frustration runs deep, and though it may seem like I am taking it out on you, I am not. It is just the fact that I don’t know how else to handle my current situation. I figured if I kept it under wraps I could somehow turn it around. Please don’t feel down or as if this is your fault. I’ve reached this point alone, and so I must deal with it alone too. Every bird has to leave the nest sometime; my time is now. I woke up every day hoping that I still had a chance to change it all. Thank you for all your support, and maybe one day this will all be behind me. Please don’t hate me.”

 Love, David.

  BOOK ENDORSEMENTS:

“A beautiful testimony of the love of both an earthly father and our heavenly Father!”

Pastor Justin & Jaime Stewart

Abundant Life Church of God – Lakeland, FL

“The Father’s Love” is one man’s story but a journey of everyone who has loved greatly, lost, and searched only to find a greater love.  I laughed, cried and rejoiced in a story that cannot help but to touch the life of every reader.  This is a book you must share with everyone!  Amazing story.”

Charlotte Hunt, speaker, counselor, and award-winning author of “Damaged Goods: Learning to Dream Again” and “Dream Madly, Pursue Wildly and Trust Completely: What You Wanted To Be When You Grew Up”

 DAVE’S BIO:

Dave Moore is a Chaplain serving in the Church of God, through Victorious Life Church of God,Ypsilanti, Michigan. His ministry is to those who need hope wherever they may be. He is a first time author of the book, “The Father’s Love” which was published by Tate Publishing and is available in bookstores, through the publisher, internet, and his website at www.thefatherslovebook.com.

 Dave Motto: “I believe that ALL things are possible with God. That is how I live and pray.”

Purchase “The Father’s Love.” at: 

Amazon.com
Barnes and noble

Dave’s Website

 Here’s Dave’s Contact Information:

E-mail: ypsimomo@sbcglobal.net
Website: www.thefatherslovebook.com/
Facebook: www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000805484371
Like him on his Facebook Fan Page at: www.facebook.com/pages/The-Fathers-Love/180682341949676

Book Review: www.cherylcope.com/the-fathers-love-by-dave-moore

Ann Arbor.com Article: www.annarbor.com/faith/while-trying-to-find-his-son-a-father-finds-his-faith/

THE JOY OF RESTING

Imagine the silly giggle of a child responding to a funny face on a cartoon show.   Close your eyes to feel the warm breeze blowing across your face during a spring afternoon.  Ponder the people, paths, and intersections and the unique journey that has made up the story called your life.  Lean back and allow yourself to imagine and dream of faraway places, desires of your heart, great legacies to leave, and life-changing impact to make in, through and for your life and the lives of others.

All of those things are wonderful parts of life to enjoy and share.  However, how many of us overlook or don’t slow our lives down enough to take in and enjoy the full pleasure of the moment?  How often do we say to ourselves, family, and friends, “Work and getting things done can wait.  I just want to enjoy the now with you.”? 

I am the first to raise my hand to say I have struggled with that crazy word called, “rest.”  For me, rest was something done after everything important, needed, and should be done was finished.  Rest was something that I could “always do later.”  My eyes were opened wide when a good buddy challenged me to do nothing but rest for a full day.  “Easy, no problem”, I thought.  Well it was easy for about the first 20 minutes. 

I sat in bed watching television. Then with each passing minute, I began to think about the list of things I “needed” to get done.  Slowly, my mind shifted from the television program I was watching to wondering about the things I could be doing instead of wasting my time doing nothing.  I was given a challenge and I was going to see it through.  To me, that meant I was to stay in a resting environment but that did not mean I could not get something accomplished while resting.  So I took out my notepad that I keep next to my pen and post it notes (for any sudden thoughts of lists I needed to make) and began to make a new list of the things I was going to do once I stopped the task of resting.  I started a new outline for an upcoming book and a game plan for a speaking event.  Once I completed my lists and outlines, I decided I could still get some computer work done while sitting in bed and justify calling it rest.  Within two hours, I was answering phone calls, writing out presentations and writing new chapters all from the comfort of my bed and managed to form my lips to call it rest.

That evening, my buddy called to check in on my day of rest.  I was proud of myself.  Instead of receiving affirmation of my attempt to rest, she talked about me like a dog!  She insisted that the only change from that day to the previous one was that I was WORKING from bed instead of my usual chair.  Wow!

Hate it or appreciate it, she was absolutely right.  How many of us find it difficult to have guilt-free rest without feeling uncomfortable or having the need to doing something while resting?  Why are our lives filled with such activity, busyness, tight schedules, day planners, IMing, cell phones in the grocery stores and bathrooms, and no time to talk?  Why is it so hard to simply be still, listen and take in the moment without doing anything at all?

I have come a long way since the day my buddy challenged me with that wonderful task.  However, I had to learn sobering lessons to my pride such as, “Regardless of my value, the world can and will run very well without me” and “In my coffin, no one will care about what I did as much as they will need to remember who I was and what time we shared.” 

I also had to learn, for me, some of the reasons resting and being quiet were difficult.  To rest completely meant time was available to think, remember and ponder some things in my life, some of which I didn’t want to think about or remember.  By not resting, I did not allow myself time to deal with issues, deep desires in my life or even big dreams that I longed to happen.  As long as I was busy, I didn’t have to deal or think or dream…just do and then do the next thing.

Finally in the process of learning to rest, I had to come to terms with the reality that I’m okay, acceptable and have worth regardless if I am accomplishing something, busy, achieving, or just laying in bed the entire day doing absolutely nothing.  For so long, my worth was attached to my performance and what I did.  I found it difficult to separate the two.  In my mind, if I was not doing something, somehow my value was lessened than others who were out there accomplishing things.

My problem was not being able to rest, it was the lie I believed about the idea of resting and the value I gave to my performance instead of my worth as a person.  Although, many years have passed since the day I was challenged, resting was and continues to be a process of learning to be a human being instead of a human doer.  Truly it is a joy worth having.

Now I challenge you to take a day to do NOTHING but rest.  You can do this.

No more excuses.  This is our time.

A FEW HELPFUL TIPS FOR MEN FROM A HAPPLILY SINGLE WOMAN

I recently read the statistics regarding the number of single women in the United States of America.  The number of single women is at an all time high, even higher for single African-American women.  There are many issues and reasons as to why but those are not important right now.  I simply wanted to make the point that there are a great deal of wonderful, intelligent, single women out there.  Okay,  yes there are a lot who are not as well.

I am content and happy in my singleness and after all these years I am not willingly to settle for foolishness or warning signs I can see a mile coming.  However, I do desire marriage in my future (things are looking good) and believe there are good men out there who have integrity, can spell the word monogamy, and are men of character.

Earlier today, I was thinking about different topics to write about for my blog and I recalled something a man said to me a while ago that left a great impact on me.  Let me share it with you now.  I was at a place of business, getting some business done in a business atmosphere wearing business attire. (You get the hint) A man looking to be in his 50’s walks, no slides, up to me with his torn jeans half down his body and says loudly, “Hey baby, you look as good as a bucket o’ hot wings.  I could just eat you up!”  I believe a moment of pause is needed here…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Now, I am only one woman. I have different interests, desires, ideas and views than other women I’m sure you’ve met.  However, there are some general helpful tips I believe I can offer some men out there who just need a few tips from that strange, unreasonable, “you are supposed to know how to read our mind”, gender.  Keep in mind; these are MY personal tips for you.  The tips expressed here do not represent the tips and views of all women living or dead.  Finally, these suggestions assume you are approaching an intelligent woman who CANNOT tell you every guess that has been on the shows where people get into fights over paternity tests and who slept with whose brother..Sorry had to go there.

Tip #1 – When approaching a woman don’t ever, ever, ever say, “Hey baby, you look as good as a bucket o’ hot wings.  I could just eat you up!”

Tip #2 – Despite the strength of any women, generally speaking, we want men who are protectors and warriors without being out of control and mean, courageous yet willing to admit when their wrong or afraid, humorous without being offensive and objectify us, loving, engaged and want to invest in who we are (not just when you want some poonanny) and MOST importantly (at least to me) willingly to take the lead regardless of rejection, mistakes or being wrong.

Tip #3 – If you have been married 5 times, are currently separated, and you just left your girlfriend you might want to take a break before approaching an intelligent woman.  A discerning woman will immediately spot a “Man who can’t be alone and is desperate”.  She knows that she will always be one of many.  Take a break and maybe find out why it’s difficult to be without a woman for a period of time.

Tip #4 –Understanding that rejection is a huge thing for you guys, this tip will be difficult. If you make a mistake, disappointment and anger might grow on a woman’s part then fade.  However, when you back away out of fear, allow her to take the lead, become passive in the relationship, resentment WILL certainly grow and will grow stronger guaranteed. As strong and independent as I am, when I get married, I don’t want him to look to me to be the leader of the relationship.  Partner yes, but be the leader of the relationship no.

Tip #5– Unfortunately, some women expect you to “just know” instead of telling you their feelings and what is going on in their head.  Yes, we are emotional human beings who can go from being an angel to the wicked witch of the west in a second depending on the timing.  And yes, we have and desire to exchange more words than the dictionary can hold in one sitting.  When it comes down to it, we are kinda simple to figure out.  Generally speaking, we desire men who will cherish, protect and love us well with integrity, honesty and character in all your humanity, realness and shortcomings.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.  You can do this guys.  No more excuses.  It’s our time

THINGS THAT I’VE LEARNED

If you have read my face book status recently, you know that I will be joining that group of people the media and AARP consider seniors soon.  Yes, I will officially be 50 years old on January 30^th.  In previous months, I felt anxiety knowing the AARP would now hunt me down like the IRS to begin mailing offers for insurance and reminders that I am no longer a “spring chicken”.  I was feeling that I needed to make sudden changes in my life to fight off my fear of being old by society’s standards.

Before the New Year, (except for the menopause thing…which I believe is STILL WRONG!) growing older in years, not age, weighed on me.  I could not imagine Charlotte being 50 years old.  That just did not sound right.  Boy, I knew I was born in 1962 but I felt (and believe I looked) like a young woman of only 35 years.

There is a point to my rambling about entering the second half of my life.  Over the holidays, while many poured over stuffing, mashed potatoes (both on my very nasty foods list by the way, but we will save that conversation for another time), yams, wonderful gifts, and travel, I poured over the past almost 50 years of my life.  Yes, I allowed time for resting, calling friends and family back home, watching many movies, and hours of fun with my two cats (Cole and Conner) opening their Christmas stockings filled with catnip, toys and plain ole mischief in which to annoy their mother.

Mainly, I journal led, wrote, laughed, cried, rejoiced and was amazed at the journey I lived through and the many things I’ve learned the easy way and learned even better the hard way.  In that time of reflection, I came away loving my life and story (yes the tragedies, abuses, pain, suffering, depressions, addictions,  and attempts of suicides as much as the joys, great accomplishments, successes, fame, wealth, travel, recognition, opportunities and impact on lives) even more than before.  Even more, I could see some things about my past, future and the world around me so plainly, that I found it embarrassing that I could not see it before. Remarkably, I came to remember some insights that have grown stronger with each year and have proven to be true through the test of time and experience.

With your permission, as a counselor, consultant, award-winning author, national speaker, and fellow walking wounded journeyer, I would love to share four of those insights that I was reminded of as I enter the next great leg of my journey.

1)      The first insight was “My needs are always valid.  The problem occurs in the source I look to in getting those needs met.” 

TRUTH: We have been created with three great needs; to be loved, to have worth and to be accepted.

PROBLEM: Example: I have a need to be loved.  I look to Mr. Slim Slam Hookfin to be my source of love. (That is impossible) When he doesn’t love me like I believe I should be loved or love me enough (which he can never do) there is a problem.

LIE: As humans (rather Christian or not) we often fight and constantly believe the lie that our worth, love and acceptance can be earned, performed for, competed for, is based on what we’ve done, do or what we have.  It never did and never will.  In my personal opinion, as long as we believe that lie, there will always be racism, prejudice, separation, comparison, insecurities, class difference, etc.

2)      The second insight was “No matter what events (joyful or painful) took place in my life they are a part of my story that is to be used for a purpose no matter what.” 

 The purpose of my past and all the pain, ups and downs and in betweens was not so I could live out my life looking back and talking about what might have been.  My past is simply a record of my story up to this point that offer hints for my future. In other words, my past should reflect a glimpse of a “future which has not happened yet “– Dan Allender.  If I cannot find hope in any shape or form through my story, the problem is never my story but the perspective from which I’m viewing my story.  That’s my problem and nobody else is to blame…nobody!

 There were many times long ago when my biggest anger and issue with God was, “If you are so powerful, good, everywhere and love me, why didn’t you do something when I was being raped by seven different people?  What type of a good God would allow someone He loves so much to go through that?”

 I don’t want to get into all the details right now.  You can read some of my past series and post on this blog or get my second book for more details.  However, I’ve come to know the only reason I can say that I would gladly live every second of every horrible detail of my life over again is because I know for a fact that my life has been, is currently being used for an incredible purpose (and way more is still to come), He IS good and my life and story prove it.

 Yeah, I needed to be loved, to have worth, to be accepted and to know the only source to provide it. However, through understanding my story and past I realizes, despite the incredible and amazing first half of my life, it’s only getting started whether that means living for another 50 years or 50 days.  My past has hinted to this future which has not happened yet and my hope is overflowing.

3)      The third insight was “Everything is a choice”. 

 In my opinion, we live in a society where we blame everybody and Santa Claus for why a result does or doesn’t happen.  As someone who was the victim of seven abusers, I will candidly say, In no way shape or form was I or will I ever be at fault for not one single second of any of the sexual abuse that happened to me as a child.  It doesn’t matter if the child is walking around naked or has a normal, God-given physical response to their abuser, IT IS NEVER THE CHILD’S FAULT.  Okay, I just needed to be clear on that for someone who might be carrying that shame around that is not theirs to carry. 

 The second part of that statement is I am now an adult.  If I cuss out somebody, continue generational bondage in my family, become an addict, hurt others, whatever, my abusers, parents, etc. are not to blame, I am.  They influenced my life, but everything is a choice.  As quiet as it is kept, the saying, “I had no choice” is false.  There may be choices that are hard or seem impossible but there is always a choice.  Every person I hurt including myself, everything I did, every lie I told, every drug I took, everything was on me and no one else.  I know that one is hard to hear.  But the redeeming thing about this insight for me is that I am able to look at everybody as “walking wounded.”  In knowing that I have hurt others, I can take my foot off the necks of everyone else who has hurt me and say, “Debt paid”.  Holding onto hurt only gives power to the other person and takes life from me anyway.  I have not one more second to offer in blaming or holding onto past hurts.

 4)      Finally, the fourth insight was “As long as secrets and fears of not measuring up remain hiding, my life is in bondage instead of freedom”. 

Sometimes, I think about people in the news or politics who get caught by a hidden situation, addiction, or fault in their past versus the ones who come out freely to admit their shortcoming.  It is interesting how differently people respond.  While initially surprised, people usually surround the latter group and congratulation them on the courage. 

Yeah, I’m headed to a point here.  Every last person on the face of this earth has junk.  Everybody!  Why do we work so hard to act like we don’t have problems, junk in our lives or have struggles?  Since when did being human and needing others become so wrong and weak?

Although, it was one of the most frightening things I’ve done in my life, I believe the most freeing act I’ve done was to write my first book, “Damaged Goods: An Autobiography” I had been through years of therapy and was struggling with some things in my life.  I never thought about being a professional writer because my mind was still focused on being a great worship leader and recording artist (while recording Jazz on the side).

Anyway, I wrote the book for many reasons but a huge reason was to take back my life from my abusers (one was already dead), dream killers, the secrets, my family, the shame and everything else that was keeping me feeling like I was unusable or less than.  I wrote it to say, “Yep, I got a crazy past and many issues.  And guess what, you do to.  However what we’ve been through never determines who we are or who we are going to be….it’s just stuff in our journey so let’s stop hiding it like we are wrong for not being perfect.”

In closing, remember we were not placed on this earth to waste our time and working a lifetime to try to be a better person, be different, get perfect (whatever that is), be like somebody else, have what others have, run or hide our past or even to pretend that we have it together.  Think about it, if you are hurting, imperfect, confused and want to talk to someone with answers do you want the person who thinks they are perfect but can read out of a book or the one who’s been there and can help you get on the other side?  Hum can somebody say AA, support groups, etc.?

We can so easily see the lie in the words of the pastor who told me I was damaged goods and God would never use me because of my abuse and issues but we don’t see the same lie in believing we are no good or can’t be used for greatness because our lives aren’t perfect, like someone else, or we have wounds or scares.

 You can do this.  It time for No More Excuses.  Now is our time.

UPGRADE (From The Voice)

An ambitious young supervisor argues with her manager about a simple technological initiative to increase their unit’s productivity and profits.  The idea is the right thing and the smart thing to do.  The manager rejects the initiative for various strategic reasons that all honestly involve maintaining the status quo.  Frustrated by the bureaucratic traditions of an old company on the slow road to extinction, the supervisors decides to alert her network, circulate her resume and upgrade her career.

Often upgrades refer to new software versions.  Sometimes it involves a cost.  It nearly always involves adding improved features and functionality to an established tool.  Another connotation implies relationships.  In relationships, an upgrade can mean a new and improved significant other, job, or social environment.  Again, the upgrade probably requires an investment of some type.

However, upgrades should not be limited to simple, superficial improvements.  Changes on the surface may result in new technology that requires expensive maintenance issues.  The wealthier boyfriend may have a pre-meditated shelf life on his relationships.  The new high-flying job may sacrifice the family friendly atmosphere that had saved a marriage.  The shiny, new circle of friends with incredible professional connections may require prohibitive financial costs to remain included.  A superficial upgrade may yield desirable results, but may have some uncomfortable side effects.

Preferably, an upgrade transcends trinkets and appearances.  Upon considering a balanced perspective on upgrades, genuine life improvements are achievable.  Fundamentally, an upgrade requires a desire for new functionality and new features.  Understand that an investment in time, resources and/ or money will be required.  Even downloading a free computer upgrade takes time and may occupy the computer for an unproductive period of time.

However, upon committing to a personal upgrade, demonstrate the will and resolve for full execution.  Target internal improvement.  Don’t simply buy a new luxury vehicle, develop better character.  Don’t just strive for a better education, acquire and apply additional learning.  Beyond improving social standing, hang around people who are serious about developing reciprocal and mutual accountability for ongoing self-improvement.  An upgrade performs best when it changes internal characteristics.

Create an expectation that personal improvements will yield a higher performing individual. Acquire new knowledge, accept the challenge of a new environment, improve personal character.  Most importantly, realize an upgrade is not a single act.  Continue to look for the latest productive inputs to continue the upgrade process.  It is not an immediate improvement from one level to the next.  But it is a repeated process resulting in ongoing, greater accomplishment.  Learn a new language, train for a new job skill, use better technology, enter healthier relationships, connect with a more progressive social group, just take the next incremental step in the journey toward a better self.

Upgrade Today!

-The Voice

 

Worth (from The Voice)

Worth is a desirable objective for all kinds of people.  The businesswoman wants to accumulate more Net Worth for her financial well-being.  The counselor wants to inspire more Self Worth for individuals seeking emotional health.  However, in these two straightforward cases, worth is treated too simplistically.  Net Worth is a shallow, tangible aspiration.  Individuals craving more money are easy to find, easy to measure, and may create some additional value.  Self Worth is slightly trickier because it features improved behaviors and attitudes.  It often assumes a higher moral road than an individual pursuing Net Worth.  Self Worth claims some power by virtue of countering the capitalistic greed that Net Worth implies.  But again, Self Worth focuses on the individual.  Consequently, it is also limited.

Economics has a concept called the “multiplier effect”.  In essence it describes additional economic activity that results from initial economic activity.  For example, a businesswoman starts a company.  She hires employees to produce and deliver the good or service.  As more people in the business’ community are put to work, they in turn buy more goods and services with their wages.  At some level, these employees acquire houses and cars which require heightened levels of lending by the community’s banks.  As loans are made and repaid, more lending is available.  Furthermore, more goods enter the community for sale.  As more goods and services enter the community for the newly prosperous employees, the overall economy grows.  Additional economic activity has resulted from initial economic activity.

Looking at Worth As Contribution is much more complex and much more fulfilling.  The economists are conceptually correct.  When worth is put to work, it provides opportunities to share and grow.  Money that is invested presents growth opportunities as that investment increases its value.  A shared idea gains momentum so that additional individuals who are giving their value to the idea produce incremental results.  Worth As Contribution enables adding  resources to an organization, an entity, a force, or a wish that already exists.  The result, when productively constructed, yields greater worth for the initial force plus greater value for all who participate.

Presently, with so much attention paid to ideas going viral, Worth As Contribution represents a path to create more… more wealth, more esteem, more value.  Individuals can freely choose to pursue their capitalist desires.  Building Net Worth is important in our society.  Pursuing Self Worth empowers individuals to benefit from self- actualization which maximizes their desire to contribute. However, Worth As Contribution maximizes value by leading to building communities, economies, learning environments, and wealth.  Worth As Contribution includes additional individuals, plus their ideas.  It attracts additional wealth because of potential tangible benefits.  It captures the human spirit which desires leaving a legacy by pouring in physical, mental and emotional resources toward building more than one individual can.  A community benefiting from collective worth will always be more powerful than any individual driving herself and a few others toward getting more stuff.

-The Voice

(Must read if ur struggling)TRUST: How Do We Trust When Everything Around Us Says, “Give Up”

The negative views and broadcasts of the news. The focus on the rich, reality stars, name-calling, politics and encouragement of bad behavior in the media. Unemployment, foreclosures, disappointments, senseless murders of children, hurricanes, anger and the struggle of simply living day to day. In these times we live in, so much seems to point to hopelessness and the belief that, “Nothing I do matters.”

Almost weekly, someone (from those with fame and wealth to the everyday Joe who is just getting by) shares their feelings, fears, struggles, and even thoughts of ending it all because their lives are “just too hard to live” with me. Man, I so get that. There have been times recently where I have even questioned God’s plan in my life, believed I was standing alone, and considered that a better plan would be for Him to allow me to quietly pass in my sleep. So many questions seem to go unanswered. So much harm and wrong seems to go unpunished. So much seems to be required of us with a feeling there is not much to gain.

In the midst of it all, as Christians, God asks us to “Be still (translated: “to be struck dumb, not moving, thinking or reacting”) and know He is God.” He asks us to trust Him completely even in the midst of insanity in our lives. For some, telling others to simply trust in the Lord is a help. I have found for most, being told to just trust and be still holds little help and comfort when the rent is due in two hours, a divorce is looming, or a child has just been killed. So why in the world would a loving God leave us with the requirement to trust Him and be still when He knows that life, at times, feels impossible?

Before I share my view of that answer let me tell you a story.

About five years ago, a woman with a successful career and making good money sensed she was called by God to become a writer and national speaker. She had glimpses of the platform that move would take and the heights her dream would take her, but she had no definitive direction or details of His plan. She also sensed that God was calling her to a journey of struggle and trust. A clear detail of “closed doors in efforts for employment on her own” was given but again no other detail was offer regarding His plan.

She began the daunting challenge of learning how to write a book, researching, learning the industry and writing a book with a focus she was unsure in writing. Through the course of her first book, she losses her job, apartment, finds out she will remain childless, and continues to write with a purpose that is unclear. Despite her fears, she ended up writing a memoir about her life and the secrets that were kept. She still had no answers to His plan but through the release of her book, her sister comes to the Lord and acknowledges after 50+ years secrets she held in bondage and hears of lives being changed.

She prays and seeks for a steady job, a home of her own, and financial stability that evade her. Although God continues to provide shelter in hotel rooms, people’s homes, and rooms, the only confirming and constant message she receives is, “Trust Me, I’ve got you, just follow Me.” Over the next four years God continues to call her to different places, states, and situations. Despite the feeling of being “flaky”, not wanting to go, and other’s opinions and judgments regarding their belief of what God can do, she follows where He leads first testing and confirming the voice of God, through prayer, her pastor, wise counsel, etc. versus her own agenda. Although she cannot see the plan or purpose, lives are impacted, people rededicate and trust in the Lord, and her life is changing.

Times are desperate. Continual questions of God’s plan and the dream she believes she is moving toward remain a struggle. She writes a second book dealing with the struggle to hold onto and begin dreaming again after a journey of struggles, abuse, and curses. The media picks up her story. Over 300 people either rededicate their lives or come to the Lord. In His plan, celebrities, the imprisoned, CEO’s, ministry leaders, and
hurting people begin to hope and dream again and are encouraged through speaking, writing and mentoring. She did not orchestrate any of that or even realized those events would take place.

Again, the Lord has called her to follow Him, this time to another state. Her trust is wavering and she is weary of the struggles of the journey yet she follows. She was working on a third book about dreaming, pursuing and trusting completely in spite of the journey and hopelessness of the moments to help other hope and dream. Employment once again ended. Within months of moving, her rental car is broken into, her newly purchased car and all the money she had in the world (on the day she was planning to make a down payment on a home she finally would have) was stolen. Jobs she found and were hired for suddenly evaded her again, through cancellations, “We accidently over hired”, etc. She was left to live each word she wrote. She had to trust completely for shelter, finances, work and transportation with no money, bus line, or car.

By now, you have figured out that the woman in the story is me. In the midst of fears, worries, insane situations, job’s comforters, and doubt, the messages remains, “Trust Me, I’ve got you, just follow Me.” In the view of some, I am foolish and certainly sin is to blame. However, in the light of the Word, my experience, and growing trust that has overwhelmed me, I would not trade my life and this journey for all the fame, wealth or houses in the world. His plan daily take shapes, miracles appear, direction is clearer and hope is a sword.

Many are learning during these times that trust was NOT what they thought it was. So many times, we trust that God will provide the desires and situations we are asking because He is a loving God and will not leave us or forsake us. Instead, we miss the part where He asks, “Do you trust ME…period! It is easy to trust God when I believe He will do what I want. However, trust is put to the test when I trust in Him alone even if it means, I don’t get what I desire or when I want it, or He says, “What you are asking for is not the best for you” or I need to take you through a difficult journey in order for you to fully enjoy what you have asked in the best way possible.”

Trusting completely is not trusting in a situation, event, person, or thing from God. It is trusting that no matter what I see or don’t see, the wait, the journey, or the insanity, I trust that He is good and will ALWAYS do what is best for me. The bottom line of trust is really coming to terms with the question, “Do I really, really believe that God will always do what is best, loves me more than I could ever love myself, and everything He does or allows is for me best.” That is the question we all have to ask. If we don’t truly believe that then nothing else, including trust, matters.

Yes, like Job, I have demanded that God show me His hand and tell me why my journey is so hard as part of His plan. Yes, there are times when, like Job, I have cursed the day I was born and wanted out. Yes, there are times when I say, “I cannot take one more step!” However, like Job, I have and continue to learn regardless of what I am going through, other people, what I feel, see or don’t see, that I know my redeemer lives. Daily, I see miracles of answers to my need, God using me greatly in the lives of others in spite of my struggles, and learn laughable lessons and sensing Him saying, “See, I told you I got it handled.”

Despite the lies fed us of “A Godly and faith driven life means that things are going well and you are prosperous”, “If you are struggling, sad, or crying out then it’s because you are in sin” (all of us have sin in our lives and daily need to confess it), “Just send in your seed gift or pay for your miracle water or oil and God will bless you or you will receive money” (Personally, I hope there is a special punishment for the so called preachers who are stealing people’s money and lying to them that they can manipulate God by giving Him money or doing something to make Him do ANYTHING…Just had to get that out….Please don’t believe that lie. Your sending in your last dollar out of desperation while the preacher is making millions…no names mentioned) and other lies, the fact is God, not us, in the one is total control.

Hold on. You are not crazy, a loser, or foolish for holding on to Him during this time of insanity. Remember, according to the Word, all that is happening is supposed to happen. The question is can you trust HIM alone in the midst of the insanity knowing that a perfect plan is happening on your behalf. It might not look the way you expect (It won’t), happen in the time you expect (It won’t) or even how you expect (It
won’t).

I encourage you as I encourage myself to:

1) Breathe

2) Stop trying to figure things out, make assumptions of why things are happening, or demand that God explain Himself. (As a parent, you don’t have to explain why your pushing your child’s hand away from the stove’s fire. All they need to know, despite not understanding, is that you love them desperately and will do everything for their best)

3) Fight your fear. When we fear, immediately WE feel that WE have to find a way out and control the situation. The hardest thing to do is to say, “Yes, I’m afraid that things will not work out the way I want. However, I will trust that God has totally got this in control and even if it does not come out the way I want, He has got a way of escape and there is something He is doing that I can’t see or understand right now.” Take power from fear. It is impossible to trust God and fear at the
same time.

4) Let go of assumptions and expectations of what your life is SUPPOSED to be and what you’re supposed to have. Maybe He has way more for us than the little box of expectations we have.

5) Remember, our source of love, worth, and acceptance does NOT come from people, places or things. Our identity is in Jesus Christ alone. A job, fame, money, what people think of me etc, certainly impact me, but they have no power over me or who I am because they
are not my source.

6) Feel what you feel then try to hold onto the truth. Scream, shout, cuss, cry, ask God all the questions you have and let him know all your feelings. Then listen, be still and allow Him to answer. I know I would be dead if He did not continue to talk to me in my spirit like a two year old. The beauty of relationship.

7) Talk with a SAFE person who will listen and just be there. We all have junk. When we can stop pretending like we have it together, we can relax in knowing we can be ourselves.

Hang in there, my friend. You can do this. Trust the fact that there is a perfect plan in place (Jer. 29:11) and before you were born, He knew exactly how He was going to use your life, the struggles you would have, the greatness that will come from it. We will understand it better at a future time.

You are NOT walking this out alone. I promise you.

your fellow journeyer

Charlotte

PRESS RELEASE FOR “Dream Madly, Pursue Wildly, and Trust Completely”

In light of Fear and World Crisis, Author Charlotte Hunt Provides Opportunity for
Greatness in the New Book: ‘Dream Madly, Pursue Wildly, and Trust Completely’

Contact: Diane Harper, Dream Madly Productions, (817) 755-0440, diane@charlottehunt.com

“Destined to be a Best Seller and a must read if you have even an ounce of ambition and drive left in your soul.
Rest assured Charlotte Hunt’s book will change your life.”

Hollywood Actor Nick Mancuso and Pro-Golfer, Greg Martin Mancuso-MartinEntertainment

 

DALLAS, July. 29 / — “How do I dream and hope for the future despite my past and current situations and world crisis all around? Charlotte Hunt knows and shares the way to use the situations of today and yesterday as opportunities for greatness and how to dream, dreams big enough to fail in this powerful new book ‘Dream Madly, Pursue Wildly, Trust Completely™: What You Wanted to Be When You Grew Up’
(Dream Madly Publishing, ISBN: 978-1-461-03122-2, July 24th, $14.99).

During the summer of 2010, a survey was conducted to evaluate the beliefs, fears and values held regarding dreams and hopes for the future in today’s world. The results were alarming!  Despite success, wealth, or fame, people unanimously asked, “How do I dream and hope for the future despite my past and current situations and world crisis all around?

Endorsed by Hollywood actor, Nick Mancuso and business partner pro-golfer, Greg Martin, “Dream Madly, Pursue Wildly, Trust Completely™: What You Wanted to Be When You Grew Up”, is a personal development, frontal assault in using past situations and current crisis as opportunities for greatness and innovation.  It provides tactical options to recapture a child-like freedom in pursuing their hopes, visions and dreams toward a life that matters.

DMPWTC is an encouragement guide and manual filled with exercises, stories of true life dreamers, diagrams, personal experiences, and clinical assistance in discovering the dreams and purposes placed in us while understanding our life stories.

This book shows readers how to dream, pursue, and trust toward greatness, innovations, and impact and create opportunities in the midst of fears, crisis, abuse, failures, or the past. Surrounded by her positive and hopeful attitude, Charlotte shares her very personal story of overcoming great adversity in the midst of dreaming madly, pursuing wildly, and trusting completely. It is a story that includes tremendous obstacles she
has faced in her lifetime:

• Physically abused and sexually abused by seven abusers between eighteen months and sixteen years old.
• Battled hopelessness, worthlessness, unemployment, homelessness, poverty.
• Told by a pastor that God would never use her because she was damaged goods.
• Endured eating and drug addictions despite success as a musician and international runway model.
• Disabled physically by age twenty-eight by advanced rheumatoid arthritis.

  As Charlotte so poignantly reminds readers throughout the book, “Our dream stealers, naysayers, eart breakers, or hope takers can never keep us from our dreams.  We were born to dream madly, pursue wildly, nd trust completely. The only one who can thwart us from our dreams…is us!”

CHARLOTTE HUNT has helped thousands to experience healing from abuse issues, restoration of lost dreams and hopes, and truth instead of lies believed through appearances on radio, television, and documentaries and through internet, church, corporate, and organizational outlets nationwide. She has established Dream Madly Productions, a multifaceted organization that encourages people to move toward their created potential and purpose and to dream, dreams that are big enough to fail despite past or present circumstances.

For more information, visit the official website at www.charlottehunt.com.